


Our Differences

by fiddleogold_againstyoursoul



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 03:55:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4549368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiddleogold_againstyoursoul/pseuds/fiddleogold_againstyoursoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You see, we're not the same at all<br/>You are a prodigy and a miracle<br/>I am a normal human meant to bow at a god's feet<br/>You're a person with dreams larger than life<br/>I am an aimless spirit whose sole wish is to enjoy his time on earth</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Differences

It's okay, right?

If I tell you here.

Because you won't even know, anyway!

It's not like you would ever find out.

So is it okay?

I don't know, but

I just want to say

"Thank you"

And

I wonder how you would respond

Probably

You'd say something like

"Idiot"

Because that's what you always say, isn't it?

That's right!

That's not all

I want to say

"Stop it"

It's not fair, I know

You don't even know what I'm talking about

But I do

We're both very different

How would it be

If I had never crossed into your life?

You would still be a Miracle

You would still shine

You would still play like the prodigy you are

So really

What am I doing here?

Convincing myself that I'm needed

I'm silly! I know!

But

You told me once that I could

Play as well as your old team

Is that right?

Did you see the doubt in my eyes

When I smiled and told you

"Thanks"

Because

I don't want to let you see

What I really think

I wonder how it would be

If I was transparent, Shin-chan

Would you still

See me the same way?

I guess

You'd know I lied a lot

Like when you went back to Teikou

And reunited with your friends

I told you I was fine, didn't I?

Because I

Don't want to be selfish, Shin-chan

I don't

Want to make it seem

As if I possess you

Because that's stupid, isn't it?

After all

We're very different

So very different

In a way that tears me up

That's stupid, isn't it?

You'd definitely

Call me 'idiot' right now

I'm missing that

I guess

You and I are really stranger to each other

You have memories I don't

And you can take mine away

So mean

And so unfair

That I am just a crystal ball

To you, but

That's how I like it

So really, I'm a hypocrite, aren't I?

Ha ha

Ha ha ha

Why aren't you laughing?

Shin-chan

I lie a lot

You don't seem to notice

Or maybe it doesn't matter

Because anyway

I have no place in your heart

Do I?

There I go again

Asking questions like that

That I'm scared of the answers to

You see the thing is

...you

Are a lot different from me

I'm not surprised

Really

There was never any doubt

...what?

Oh

Ha ha

You saw through me again

You're someone

Who can fit in anywhere

Whereas

I can never merge

Into your crowd of 'friends'

You said once

You'd rather have four quarters

Than a thousand pennies

I'm just a penny

So can you keep

your quarters

And I,

just another penny,

Can just melt away

Is that okay?

Shin-chan

...Shin-chan?

...

I...

I'm very

Very different

From you

...

I have no place

In your memories

Nor in the picture

On your wall

I know you're happy now

But they made you happier

Didn't they

Bring you a lot more success?

If there'd been a Teikou High

I wonder

If you'd be happier there

...would you?

Ha ha

Sorry

That's my habit

To ask stupid questions

No one wants to answer

...

Say it already

Say you're tired of me

Or say you're in love with me

Because honestly

Whichever one you choose

My answer will be

"Okay"

How can I,

A person with no true meaning in your existence,

Influence your ideals

"okay"

won't be hopeful

I'll accept it

No matter what

I never got to make you happy

Anyways

You can have so many Takao Kazunari's

But

Only my Shin-chan

Is real to me

He's different

Very different from me

That's the thing

So

Please just say it

That we're different

So very different

I don't need any flattery from you

You're painfully blunt

And I like that

Because you don't lie

Not like I do

..."

"Takao?"

He puts his hand on my head, and it is warm, but then again it always is. "Takao, are you...crying?"

_No, stupid._

_I was having an...allergic reaction._

He stares at me, unconvinced, then shrugs. It _doesn't_ matter, does it?

"I need to go."

_Yeah. I know._

He eyes me.

"Takao..."

_I know._

"I'm sorry."

_Please don't say things like that._

"...idiot, you're making me cry..."

He swipes at his eyes with his sleeve. I've never seen a thing so beautiful as the crystal droplets that spill over his eyes, moistening the tips of his eyelashes.

_I didn't mean to._

"I don't want to leave...necessarily."

So what are you saying?

In the end, you will

So _what are you saying?_

"My father wants me to move to Kyoto. He's found me a place in Rakuzan."

_Okay._

"Takao,"he sounds exasperated. He sounds exhausted.

He sounds like Shin-chan.

What do you want me to do?

"...nothing," He bites his lip and looks away. "I just...I..."

Say it.

Say we're different.

Say you're leaving because we can't cope.

"I'm not leaving for Akashi," He says.

_You don't have to clarify that, not to me,_

_Shin-chan_

His breath hitches when I call him that. He glances at me.

"Memories,"he says. "I'm leaving for my memories."

Memories I can't share.

I don't say that out loud. How can I?

"For Teikou,"he insists.

It's okay.

You don't have to explain

Not to me

"Takao?"

I glance upwards, and he's staring. He's not smiling. He should be, he should be happy.

But he's not. I can't make him happy.

"Kazunari," he murmurs.

It hurts.

Please don't call me so familiarly

It drives the dagger deeper

Shin-chan.

"Kazunari," he calls again.

...it's okay.

"We're..."

_Different._

"That's not what I meant to say!"

_That's what I meant to hear._

"Kazunari!"

It's okay.

Shin-chan,

I've already accepted it.

"You're always like this," He scowls.

And you always respond the same way...

You don't.

"You know what, I don't care."

Thank you.

"Email me when you're done stewing."

He leaves a slip of paper on the table, one I will save in my email drafts, a million ones of them that I'll never send.

He said it.

The thing is, Shin-chan

What really sets us apart,

Other than your basketball prowess

Is that no matter what

I would never leave you like that.


End file.
